I was under the impression that finishing my papers, running my errands, and doing everything that needed to be done would decrease my stress level… Nope. I guess I’m just addicted to worrying… Hopefully an extra long visit to the gym and a new exercise routine will help me relax.
I feel like I should have some sympathy in this situation, but mostly I’m just annoyed by people’s reflex “quick fix” solutions to a larger cycle of anxiety. Think things through, kiddo…
The turn-ons:
Amazingly elegant handwriting. Fastidious note taking. Knack for languages. Clearly intelligent. Appreciation for similar activities– films, music, dancing, shows, academics. Tall. Amusing. Looks vaguely like my handsome french professor, but not a jackass. Is either really nice and doesn’t know he’s flirting– or is really milking it.
The turn-offs:
Why oh why do you have to sound exactly like that person from my past whom I really can’t stand anymore? Like– exactly. With similar mannerisms.
Just please don’t ever say “fair enough”. That will be the deal breaker.
ARGH MIXED FEELINGS.
Remember laying in my bed and playing the question game. Remember wrestling over… nothing actually. Remember every night for a year. Remember that hike, that day we met. Remember curling up on the coast. Remember my hands, your shoulders, my fingers, your ears. Remember lighting my cigarette. Remember that hug that fixed my night. Remember ditching our skype date that I woke up at 3am for. Remember walking from Lincoln to WWII, smoking, talking about life. Talking about everything but us. Remember that there never was an “us”.
I NEED to remember that there never was an us to begin with.
Passing stranger! you do not know how longingly I look upon you,
You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me, as of a dream,)
I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you,
All is recall’d as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured,
You grew up with me, were a boy with me, or a girl with me, 5
I ate with you, and slept with you—your body has become not yours only, nor left my body mine only,
You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass—you take of my beard, breast, hands, in return,
I am not to speak to you—I am to think of you when I sit alone, or wake at night alone,
I am to wait—I do not doubt I am to meet you again,
I am to see to it that I do not lose you.
—“To a Stranger,” Walt Whitman
Acknowledged. Being dealt with. We should return to our regularly scheduled stress momentarily…
Experiencing a swell of nostalgia for my life in Paris. I hope I find a chance to go visit my second home soon…
Today I just want to sleep a lot. Buuuuuuut… I have to go for a run. Blah.
For some reason it’s when I’m at my most stressed that I wonder what’s going on on facebook. Then I realize that I deleted my facebook because it was causing me stress. I think we have a Pavlov’s dog situation going on here folks…
(via devonsaurusrex)
Oh hi. Welcome to apartment 1218. Apparently this is the happening spot for people who DON’T LIVE HERE to make too much noise while other roommates are trying to study on a sunday night at half nine in the evening…
I definitely woke up early with the intent of getting work done. Funny how that never seems to happen…
Just received an email from my honors department about the merit award towards this term’s tuition– I was selected and awarded $350. Expected to finish a major and potential second major and minor within the next two years. Meetings set up with various AppLing faculty to discuss Peace Corps, working for the State Dept., and other potential life paths. I’m apparently a very qualified candidate for multiple fellowships and study abroad awards, including the Fulbright. Here comes the dreaded application process… Actually excited about that though!
Tuesday– you have redeemed yesterday’s stressful Monday. Good on you!
It’s 5:15 am. I slept from midnight to 1:45. The birds have begun chirping. I have a headache. I still am only halfway through the paper due today, at least content wise. Lengthwise I’m only about a page away from the minimum but there is soooo much left to discusssss. Ahhhhhh.
